First and Foremost a Black: Problems with Being a Slytherin Princess
by roll-of-the-red
Summary: The social game was a dangerous one to play, the rules were ever changing, never spoken, and once you thought you knew them completely they turned on you. "That's where you're wrong about me, Bellatrix," I smiled, and she blinked in surprise. "I'm not coming back."
1. Chapter 1

**A\N-Hey everyone this is my story that I've uploaded on Fanfiction so I hope you like it. **

**Disclaimer-if this was mine, it would not be published on a FANfiction website.**

**Roll-of-the-red**

First and Foremost a Black

**Chapter 1**

_Problem #1 (with being a Black) : Your parents bribe hotel desk clerks and speak of stockpiling __muggles__ and\\or __muggleborns__._

It was in that half-waking yet still half-asleep state that my thoughts ran wild, tangled up and galloping at full speed like a herd of wild horses.  
Here, there was nobody to tell me what to do and what not to do.  
Hell-here, I could plan out my wedding to a muggle (not that I'd want to) and no one would be the wiser.  
I kept my eyes closed, though I could just make out the light drifting in through the drapes and painting a fiery orange mural on the inside of my eyelids. It wasn't long before my peaceful abode was popped like a bubble.  
_"__Muggles__ and __Mudbloods__, filthy and poor,_  
_Out on the streets, or we'll show them the door!_  
_If they won't leave then we'll show them our wand,_  
_A flash of green light and they're gone, gone __gone__!"_  
Bellatrix's low voice floated through the halls accompanying her erratic footfalls-she was skipping.

"Wake up, Andromeda!" She bellowed, banging on my door. "Hurry and pack, I've got to go get Cissy up!" I heard her footsteps fade as she took up her song again, the second verse cruder than the fist.

"_Mmmgggh__," _I groaned, yanking my pillow from underneath my head and pushing the cool side against my face, my eyes still closed. If I didn't open my eyes at all, could it technically still be yesterday? If I hadn't yet seen today, is it really happening?

I wasn't a morning person.

I pulled myself into a sitting position, feeling slow and sluggish, like the air around me had turned to honey. I could imagine how I looked-light brown hair a rat's nest, all piled up on top of my head and slumped to the side in a tangled mess, tank top sleeve slipping off my shoulder.

I grabbed my wand and spared myself the trouble of attacking the mess with a brush, charming my waves to untangle and transform into a style somewhat presentable.

Underage magic?

Definitely, I was only sixteen.

But did we, the Black sisters, pureblood Princesses, have to worry about it?

Absolutely not.

I looked at my sisters, still as statues and cold and beautiful as ice sculptures. They coolly observed the commotion down at the Ministry below them. There were flashes of spitting green fire and dress robe-clad workers jumping suddenly from the flames.

Our parents stood behind us at the back of the balcony overlooking the main floor, talking quietly with the Chief Executive of the Portkey Department. We were going to Paris.

The workers below called out to one another, shaking hands and exclaiming, smiling and laughing. Paper airplanes flying by themselves crossed near us, and Bellatrix snatched one out of the air, beginning to peel it open with long, pale fingers topped with claw-like fingernails.

Narcissa snickered, and I edged closer to the strong charismatic auras of power they were both emitting.

The corner of Bellatrix's mouth pulled slowly into a mean grin, dark eyes glittering.

"_Dear N_," she read in a nasally voice, looking at me and motioning me closer.

"Come _on, _Andi! Do you want to hear or not!" It wasn't a question. And I never knew anything else but to follow Bella's every wit and whim.

_"I haven't stopped thinking about last night. I've admired you for a while now, but haven't been so hopeful as to assume you felt the same way until yesterday! I hope I can see you again, but as I'm sure you know, the Ministry discourages relationships between workers. Until this changes, we must keep ourselves a secret, my love. I will enjoy fooling everyone by acting as though we mean nothing to one another. It can be a game._

_With Love,_

_B_

"My my, what a sappy little love story," Narcissa's bell-like voice condemned, disgust wrinkling her white little nose.

"If my husband ever speaks to me in such a way, I'll slit his throat in his sleep," Bella intoned lightly.

"I quite agree," Narcissa sniffed. "What do you think, Andi?"

"I-yes," I nodded.

"Come walk with me," Cissy inquired, linking her arm through mine. She was only fifteen-a year younger than me, and Bellatrix was a year older-but already she looked like a grown witch. We were like dolls, to be dressed and prettied up like ornaments, symbols of our parents successful, pureblooded marriage.

We were all adorned in similar dress robes, expensive and intricately designed with green inflections, emphasizing our Slytherin-ness. I closed my eyes briefly, shuddering. I didn't want to think about how I almost _wasn't _one of them. A Ravenclaw. That was what the Hat had wanted me to be. I had begged, pleaded, and groveled to be a Slytherin, to be put with Bellatrix. My sister. That was what everyone was expecting. What I was expecting.

_Then __Slytherin__ it is, _the Hat had said. _You'd fit in both equally well, you know. SLYTHERIN!_

Then I had gone to sit with my sister.

"Andi-Andromeda!" Cissy was gently shaking my arm, bringing me out of my trance.

"Huh?" I turned to look at her, pale skin and hair that was practically white, icy blue eyes and a string of milky pearls adorning her neck.

"You're tuning out again. Aren't you exited for Paris?" She widened her eyes a bit, nodding slightly to encourage me.

"Yeah, I am," I nodded slightly.

"Don't be such an old woman, Andromeda. Have some fun! Look at those pathetic mudbloods down there, breathing in their own filth. It's sickening," Bellatrix came up behind us, her low, throaty, yet strangely melodic voice slicing through the air like a knife.

I didn't know what to think of my family's blood prejudice. It wasn't as easy to turn away from the opinions that have been emblazoned within you your whole life than those who weren't in the situation themselves believed. I was caught in a war, with a foot planted on either side.

Even if I could turn away, would I want to?

My eyes fell upon a moving picture on a _Wanted _poster of a dark-haired man, a flash of red eyes within an impossibly pale, almost inhuman face. He laughed cruelly at whoever took the picture, throwing his head back. The picture flashed green within the paper, so bright I had to close my eyes. When I opened them again, there was a mark in the midnight sky, the same color as the flash of light. Emerald.

It was a skull, with a snake winding out of its mouth. I shuddered unintentionally, and had to turn away. Something about that mark...

"Lord Voldemort," Bellatrix breathed, snatching the picture off the wall and bringing it close to her nose.

"The Ministry still hasn't gotten it figured out how he's doing all those killings and torturings without anyone finding out until after they've already happened," I blurted. "Him and his followers." They both turned to look at me. All of us-the Blacks-knew all about it, though. It was our family who supplied him the most followers, our family who practically held tryouts for honored positions in his rank.

Murderous, bloody tryouts, but tryouts nonetheless.

"They don't exactly look at what's right under their noses, do they?" Narcissa began, looking sideways at Bellatrix to gauge her reaction. Her face was expressionless.

"I want to take the initiation," Bella said breathlessly, looking at the picture of Voldemort with some sort of longing.

"You want to kill a muggle to get into his little group?" I snapped.

"Shut up, Andromeda, you've got no idea what you're talking about. Don't worry yourself with things that are out of your concern."

I stayed silent. I didn't want to place myself on Bellatrix's bad side. So I didn't speak. Again. But I held her gaze, the air between us filling with tension. Cissy's eyes darted back and forth.

I was always the first to look away.

"Get ready, girls," Mother's light, lilting voice floated over as she took mine and Cissy's arms, steering us all toward the Portkey. We each arranged ourselves in a neat little circle around a miniature statue of the Eiffel Tower.

"Have a nice trip!" The man who'd set our Portkey up called after us, waving merrily with a gap-toothed smile. Bella nudged my arm and snickered, and I let out a short, half-hearted laugh. Father smiled briefly at us, a rare occasion, and suddenly the spinning began and the walls of the Ministry disappeared.

"We'd like to check in please, master suites reserved for Black," my father said coolly, his voice sounding commanding and powerful. Mother stood on his arm, holding herself like royalty-which she practically was. Bellatrix stood immediately behind them, dark and beautiful, and without a doubt a Black through and through. She had never had a questioning thought concerning whether or not she belonged. Narcissa, slight and fair, beautiful as well. Not as lusting for power or blood as much as Bellatrix. An ice princess.

And me. Andromeda. I was plain-I didn't mind. It was the truth.

_Being pretty can reel a boy in but it can't make him stay,_ my father had whispered to me once, in one of his moments. _Besides_, he had corrected himself. _You're pureblooded, rich, and a 'll be getting proposals left and right straight out of Hogwarts._

But I did look like them, though, there was no questioning that. I was some sort of medium between Cissy and Bella's stark opposites-light brown hair and brown eyes.And sometimes, late at night, half asleep, I would think dangerous thoughts. What if...what if muggle-borns aren't inferior to us? What if Voldemort is as evil as the rest say he is? What if...

A thought is _fine. _My thoughts are my own. So long as I do not let my thoughts guide my actions, I will be safe. After all, I am a Slytherin through and through. I think before I speak. I hide my emotions almost as well as Bellatrix. I am a Black first, and Andromeda second. That is what I have always been taught.

Besides, maybe the thoughts are wrong. Maybe I am wrong, and the teensie hint of rebellion I have been nursing these last few months toward the way my life has always been...maybe that is normal, and I will go back to my unquestioning self soon.

_Soon._

I looked out behind us. Wizards and witches and children lounged about, sitting on the edge of the towering fountain in the middle of the marbled floor, laughing and chatting and looking at us curiously.

"And-and the family next to us, what of their blood status?" My mother asked quietly, leaning in. The man behind the counter, well-groomed and sporting crisp black dress robes, narrowed his eyes slightly. A crinkle in his brow appears.

"Ma'am, I don't have the authority to-" he began in a strong French accent. The high-ceilinged room seemed to quiet a little bit.

"Come on, now. We are the _Black _family...surely you can just tell us this minor little detail..." my father looked at him with a razor-sharp stare, beginning to stack galleons on the table. The man looked down at them and swallows.

"That is not worth my job," he said quietly, looking firmly back up at my father. "Why do you wish for this information?" My dress robes suddenly felt hot and itchy, and I yearned to throw them off and pull on what a young woman walking across the room from us is wearing. I recognized them as muggle clothes, shorts and a t-shirt, I believe, and they looked more comfortable than even my pajamas.

I felt stiff and awkward and itchy, not proud and beautiful, as Mother says these clothes are supposed to make us feel. A symbol of our wealth and power; that was all that they were.

"Because, Monsieur, my family will not share a wall with those of filthy blood," he said loudly, eyes sharp. Those nearest us turned and stared, lips parted, eyebrows drawn. They weren't sure they'd heard what was an incredibly offensive rudeness that had just flown from my father's mouth.

The man behind the counter stared at him, and his eyes hardened.

"In that case," he began quietly, "You can go and take it up with them yourselves." I wasn't really sure the man knew what he was saying; I was sure he didn't _actually _expect my father to go and confront them, but he did.

"Believe me, we will," my father said poisonously, snatching his money off the counter and somehow gracefully storming up to the glass elevator, floating in the middle of the floor, waiting.

There was a small stone bridge that ran over a burbling aqua river, and a stone path that led to the elevator. Bellatrix leveled her gaze at the people staring toward us, glaring at them until they lowered their eyes uncomfortably and murmured quietly to the people next to them.

We made it up to the rooms. I stared at the ground. They really had nice carpet here.

"Andromeda, wait here and tell us if that bloody man comes up," my mother ordered, and I looked up to see her eyes flashing.

Bellatrix and Narcissa followed my parents, who walked into the joint living room that branched off not only into our suites, but our neighbors as well. I sank into a plush white couch overlooking the lobby many floors below. This far up, the people were just dark specs moving about, their voices just a dull hum in my ears. I sighed softly, wondering if they knew they were being watched.

"Ah Evelyn, remember when that Transfiguration Professor-Dumbledore, it was-came and told us we were witches? The look on Mum and Dad's face..."

"I believe he's headmaster now, Tricia. Oh hello, young lady! What's your name?" I turned around, startled at their forwardness, cheeks reddening slightly. This was another thing that set me apart from the other Blacks.

I was _soooo_not graceful and cool in public.

"Andromeda," I managed to utter, not sure if I should look at their eyes or examine my fingernails, or maybe pull at an imaginary bit of dark emerald string coming off my robe. The rich material felt itchy against my skin and I yearned to take it off. It was too tight, I couldn't breathe in all the way. Dress to impress, my parents drilled into my head. I let that rule slip a bit at Hogwarts, but my friends-or _friend, _really, I only had one real one, I suppose-told me I still dressed stiffly.

"What a lovely name. Don't you think that's a lovely name, Evelyn?" The first woman-Tricia-tall, slightly plump, and maybe in her thirties-turned to her sister.

"I do!" She cried, striding forward and sitting down on the couch next to me. "Tell me, do you go to Hogwarts?"

"Yes," I relaxed my shoulders, just realizing that I had my muscles clenched and making a conscious effort to relax them. "I'm a Slytherin. Did you go to Hogwarts?" _Play __Narcissa_, I hissed inwardly to myself. I was awkward as Andromeda, but playing someone else was something I was good at-if I could just slip into my younger sister's mannerisms, I would be fine.

"Ah, Slytherin!" The first sister-Evelyn, who was seated next to me, sighed. She had dark hair and small, dark eyes, as did Tricia; they must have been twins. Reminiscence took over her expression as she tilted her head back slightly.

From across the hall in front of us, voices began to rise from inside the room, two of them distinctly my parents.

"One of my boyfriends was in Slytherin. I don't recall his name-what was it? Steven, Stephan?"

"Jeremiah," Tricia reminded her lightly, leaning against the banister and looking over at the lobby below. "My, what a view. I think I'm going to get Mum and Dad, show them around..." She was in the room, closing the door behind her before I could tell her it may not be a good idea to step foot in there when my parents were in one of their moods.

The rising voices rose higher, and Tricia's joined them.

"-_won't _be sharing a room with _filth _such as yourself, thank you very much-"

"Don't you dare call my parents filth, it's you who disgrace our entire population-!" Tricia's shrill shriek cut in. I closed my eyes and winced.

"Merlin, are those your parents?" When I opened my eyes again, Evelyn was looking at me with a whole new expression on her face. "Why, you're a Black, aren't you?" She said in a strange tone, suddenly sounding cold.

"I am," I whispered, looking at the ground. I was perched at the very edge of the couch, my elbows on my knees. I held my hands laced tightly together, fingers white. "I'm sorry..."

"I think I better go," she said coldly, standing up. Her back was rigid. She did not look at me, but strode proudly into the room, the raging verbal battle within.

That was how our trip to Paris was cancelled, and how we ended up for dinner at Aunt Walburga and Uncle Orion.

"And _then _they told us to get out, that they didn't want our money. Wizarding society is just not what it used to be," my mother shook her head, eyes reflecting the candles in the dimly lit room. I looked down at the dark wood of the table, jumping slightly when a house elf appeared at my elbow to refill my drink.

Sirius flicked a pea at me from the right, the corner of his lip twitching as he tried to keep an innocent façade. The pea stuck in my pile of potatoes, a fleck of green in a sea of gray. He was only in second year, twelve years old, but already had enough spirit in him to fill a whole house of Blacks. I don't know why he believed in me, thought I was different from them. Was I?

I kicked him under the table, realizing with a start that this was the first time in a long while the corners of my lips had lifted into a real smile. Was this was being happy was? This light-hearted feeling inside me, like something heavy was slowly lifting?

My leaden heart fell back into place with a resounding _clang _like a lock on a door as Aunt Walburga sharply reprimanded Sirius to stop acting like a child. He met her gaze with a level glower, staring her down.

"Don't look at your mother like that, boy," Uncle Orion snapped, fingers tightening around the silver knife, the Black family crest reflecting the light of the flame.

Bellatrix narrowed her eyes and cast Sirius a triumphant smirk, like he had personally done her wrong.

"Have you stocked up for the initiation yet?" My father asked lightly, tactfully changing the subject. Bellatrix whipped her head up like she was a wolf sniffing for blood. I slouched down in my seat. So did Sirius.

"No, not yet. The Malfoys-Abraxis, Lynae, and their son Lucius are coming to discuss-"

At this point, Narcissa uttered a little moan and my heart felt the pain of a dull-bladed stab.

She looked so tiny across the table from me; her shoulders hunched over and white hands covering her mouth, trembling. Eyes down at her place.

It took so much to break Narcissa's composure. But this did it.

"Are you still going on about Lucius, girl?" Uncle Orion asked gruffly, slamming his hand on the top of her chair, making her jump. Her eyes grew shiny and swam with tears but the she looked him in the eye a minute before nodding.

"It's an honorable marriage," he continued in his gravelly voice. "You should be proud to help the noble family of Blacks, you should be _honored _to be promised to a Malfoy."

Narcissa said nothing.

"Poor girl, she still hasn't found her feet yet with this marriage deal," my mother sighed, and the matter was promptly forgotten by everyone.

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and blew out her cheeks in an exasperated manner. Mother and Father wouldn't look at Narcissa as she tried to catch their eye in vain. They were ashamed at her lack of composure.

I should have been, too.

I wasn't.

Instead, I felt like crying myself.

I found myself standing up by some other will than mine.

"M-mother, may I walk with Narcissa?" I twisted my hands nervously. All eyes were on me, most shocked. I made myself focus only on Narcissa, who had lowered her hands from her face and lifted her chin, an expression of intense gratitude etched upon her beautiful face.

"You'd better leave and get her head cleared. Come back before the Malfoys get here. Narcissa, do your powder, make yourself look presentable. Look like a Black," Mother ordered, trying for a kind smile. (More like she didn't want Regulus, Sirius, and their parents to see Narcissa's un-Black-like moment.) Sirius snorted. He had seen that false look of nicety many times on his own mother's face and saw right through it.

Just like I did.

Walburga's hand twitched, like she wanted to slap him. She ground her teeth together in her aristocratic but ugly face, math pursed and drawn. Sirius did not flinch.

Little Regulus observed it all, dark eyes wide and watching, sitting at his father's left.

"Let's go, Cissy," I muttered, crossing to the other side of the table and taking her arm.

We made it to the narrow staircase, portraits and different forms of the Black crest adorning every inch of the walls.

The wooden steps creaked under our footfalls. We were otherwise silent. We stopped in the family tree room, where Narcissa immediately began to heave great, heart-wrenching sobs, sinking to her knees and once again taking on the looks of my vulnerable little sister that disappeared when Mother and Father try and stomp it out of her.

"Oh, Cissy," I whispered, sinking to the floor with her and wrapping my arms around her small frame which was shaking with violent sobs. "Narcissa...I wish I could do it instead..." I murmured. She laid her head on my shoulder, and I rested my head on hers.

"I-I know," she gasped, shuddering. "I just-I just-Andi, I can't have a _single _boyfriend-I-I know I'm allowed to, but I just-that feeling, that no matter how much we end up liking each other, at the end of the day it's always, _always _going to be Lucius who I have to get married to..." she sobbed. "And that's not even the main problem. I don't _love _him, Andi! I can't! I never will!" She wailed, sobbing harder than ever. "I _can't _marry him!"

"You're only fifteen, Cissy," I whispered, not knowing what else to say. "You might end up loving him yet."

I couldn't help but think how this had almost been me, sobbing on the floor of our cousins' house.

_I _had almost been the one promised to Lucius Malfoy. Until my parents changed their minds and said that it wasn't fitting for a bride to be older than her groom. Which was, of course, ridiculous. Lucius was only a year younger than I.

My little sister took my place.

"We can run away, you and I, Cissy," I whispered, half-serious. "We could..."

"No," Cissy gasped, her sobs beginning to slow. She sat up and began to straighten herself out, wiping her tears with trembling hands. "I-I can't do that either. You see, I'm stuck." Her tears began to start again and she covered her face, shoulders heaving. "I've got to stay and do my duty for my family," she said, her voice muffled. "That's what I need to do."

I stayed silent for a moment's pause. Then, quietly-

"No, you don't," I muttered under my breath and something strong coursed through my veins, making my heart skip and leap. I felt strong for a moment, like I could stand up to my parents.

But then it left me, and I wondered if it had really been there in the first place, and if I wanted it to be or not.

"There, now you look like an ice princess again," I smiled at Narcissa in the mirror, tucking the last curl back into her updo. She smiled at me in the mirror, a small, drawn smile. We had re-powdered and make-uped and un-rumpled clothes. "He's handsome, at least," I whispered to her when I saw her smile disappear. She nodded slightly.

"At least," she giggled, and I was so relieved that I began to giggle myself.

"It'll work out," I promised in a whisper as we walked out the door, and I put a hand on her shoulder as we came into view of the kitchen.

"At least our girls will never marry muggleborns," Mother was talking as we came in. "We'll never see them again if they do, yes Bellatrix?"

"Yes, Mother," she nodded.

**A\N-Any reviews for a first time author? **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer-I'm sure this will shock you all. Ready? I have NOT become J.K Rowling since the last chapter. Do you think I would be on fanfiction if I had?! Wow. I hope I didn't blow your hats off with that shocker.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 2**

_Problem #2- Lucius steals my sister and Bellatrix is in the newspaper._

_"_Brooms!" I sighed with longing as we walked past the display, the _Starcrossed_gleaming innocently with its polished wooden handle and its total perfection...I was the Slytherin's reserve seeker, and I badly needed a new broom for the upcoming year. The sounds of Diagon Alley played in the background: laughter, doorbells tinkling...

"Go on, then!" Bellatrix laughed, slapping my back.

"Bellatrix!" A deep voice boomed from behind us, we and turned to see a group of her friends from Hogwarts standing in the middle of the street, the crowd of witches and wizards giving them a wide berth. Avery, Nott, Crabbe, Goyle Lucius Malfoy- "Come on! Let's go!"

"Where are you going?" I asked. It sounded like an innocent enough question, but Bellatrix's eyes flashed dangerously like I'd said the wrong thing.

"Narcissa, Andromeda! 'Lo!" Crabbe shouted to us, his voice deep. He raised his hand in greeting. Narcissa waved back, and I inclined my head.

"I'm going to go with them. Stay close to each other, girls, I'll be back soon!" Bellatrix shouted over her shoulder as she ran forward to her friends, dodging witches and wizards like a black shadow, disappearing from view until she popped up again on the other side, with the wanna-be Death Eaters. They swarmed around her and left down Knockturn alley like a miniature stampede, laughing and shouting rowdily. Narcissa and I stared after them with wide eyes, the people streaming on either side of us giving a wide berth.

Someone knocked against my elbow, and I jumped slightly, turning around to see a tall blonde boy in a store uniform shouting his apologies to me before he fumbled with the doorknob of the broom shop, awkwardly climbing in the door and closing it, still apologizing from behind the glass.

I furrowed my brow, opening my mouth to say something back, but he was already inside. The inside of me felt funnily knotted, and my heart was beating strangely. I felt even more tongue-tied than usual. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding and oddly enough, smiled to myself.

"I should-I need to look at brooms," I told Narcissa, who was still staring after Bellatrix with a funny expression on her face.

"Oh Andi, do we have to right now? You know I hate looking at brooms..." she sighed remorsefully.

"Why don't you come with me, then?" A familiar voice from behind made us whirl around, and Narcissa came face to face with Lucius Malfoy. She gasped and took a step backward, cheeks reddening.

"Lucius, I can't, I have to stay with my sister-"

"Can she spare you for just a little while?" He asked softly, his voice slippery like a snake's hiss.

I narrowed my eyes at that boy just as far as they could narrow. He looked a little startled, but regained the miniscule slip in his composure almost immediately.

"I-" Narcissa eyed me unhappily, but with some sort of firm resolution in her eyes. "I'll come," she said dully, shoulders slumping just slightly enough that only I, who had known Narcissa her whole life, could recognize.

"Bye, Cissy," I said apologetically as Lucius offered her his arm, and they began to walk off stiffly.

I turned back toward the window, cringing a bit on Narcissa's behalf. She would probably be forced to make awkward conversation with that horrid Malfoy boy for half an hour, at least.

I pushed open the door to the Quidditch shop, the bells tinkling.

The shop was more familiar than my own home, waxed wooden floors and walls covered with broom designs, Quidditch strategies, and all sorts of signed, moving posters of various Quidditch teams that covered surfaces from floor all the way to the ceiling, where there was a depiction of a moving Quidditch game.

There were shelves in the back of older models and snazzy displays in the front of newer ones. Wooden stands stood in the middle of the floor, attracting small groups of people that fawned over the product it was offering.

The familiar smell of new brooms and peppermint handle polish wafted toward me, and low murmurs over broom designs came from all corners of the store. One voice, though, rose above them all-

"I'm really sorry, Rob! Honest, I dropped my watch in the sewer on the way here and this man tried to help me fish it out, only he was a muggle so I couldn't use magic in front of him! So we got this branch and stuck it in there-"

I turned to see the good-looking blonde boy who had bumped into me moments earlier talking animatedly with his hands to what must have been his boss, who was shaking his head but smiling.

"-but it wasn't long enough, so we got down on our stomachs and tried to grab it from there, cause it was caught on this ledge, you see. He got another stick and we tried to pull it up using _both _of them, like a pincer, you know. That didn't work and we accidentally shoved it in the rest of the way! Well, by then I realized I was probably running late. So I said thanks and ran off to Disapparate behind some trees and ran here as fast as I could!" He finished breathlessly, straightening his name tag that read: _Hello! My name is: TED. Ask me about our newest broom models!_

I vaguely recognized him from school; he was in the year above me, his name was Tonks.

"It's alright, m'boy! I'm going to fire you. You're our best worker, you know. So full of enthusiasm!" Robert clapped him on the shoulder, and Ted seemed to relax, and gave him a huge smile. I was entranced. How could one person be so happy?

"Ted, I think there's a customer who needs assistance," he alerted him, jerking his head in my direction.

"Oh!" Tonks blurted, and Robert chuckled before exiting behind the swinging doors back behind the counters.

Ted Tonks walked briskly forward toward me, but his hand accidentally brushed against a box full of papers that was standing precariously at the edge of the counter. It swayed a bit before it tipped, gravity pulling it toward the floor, turning so the papers were upturned and fluttered everywhere.

"Oh, Merlin," he sighed, kneeling down quickly. He muttered a spell under his breath that quickly levitated the papers haphazardly back in the box, setting them carefully in the very middle of the counter this time. He continued his walk to me, coming to lean on the counter across from me.

"Hello, how can I help you?" He asked with a smile. "Sorry about those papers, I'm always knocking things over!" He chuckled a bit at his own expense. I had no idea what to say. Which was normal for me, of course, but for some reason, I _really _couldn't speak in front of this boy. I hadn't formed a coherent word for him yet.

"Er...could I see the Starcrossed, please?" I knit my hands together behind my back.

"Sure! I'll get it out of the display case for you, hold on a second..." he came out from behind the counter and strode confidently over to the window, a trip in which he almost overturned three different stands advertising various sorts of broom compasses.

When I finally had it in my hands, a pleasant shiver ran down my back. I ran my hand along the handle of the broom, and it practically sang for me to get on.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Tonks said softly, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Oh, yes," I breathed.

"Want to take it for a spin?"

I looked at him oddly.

"Oh, I mean just-" he flung his hand out and knocked against the jar full of extra broom handles-he quickly grabbed them before they could fall and whirled around, hurriedly racing against gravity to try and pick them up. "-oh, hell-sorry, I'm so clumsy, see-" a few of the broom handles escaped his wide hands and clattered to the floor. I patiently kneeled down and helped pick them up. Once they were all back in the jar and Ted had put himself at a safe distance away from anything remotely breakable, he continued talking.

"Anyway, we've got this policy we're trying out that if you're thinking of buying a broom, you can take it for a five minute ride. After five minutes this little security doohickey-" he tapped to a metal cuff at the front of the broom-"will override what _you're _telling the broom-if you're trying to steal it, that is-and it'll take you right back here!" He said proudly, grinning. He had thick, blonde hair and the bluest pair of eyes I'd ever seen. He was half a foot taller than me, and that was saying something-I was above average in the height department myself, taller than both Bella and Cissy.

I wonder if he knows I'm a Black, I suddenly thought. Then I was ashamed at myself for thinking it, and confused. Why would he care? We didn't even know each other and he probably didn't give a pile of Hippogriff dung whether or not my parents didn't like muggles, as long as my money was in his pocket at the end of the day.

"Oh, what?" I snapped my head up, my cheeks turning fiery red. He'd been talking. "Sorry."

"No, it's alright. So, you want to try her out?" He handed me the broom.

"So you're allowed to do this?" I asked doubtfully, looking longingly at the broom.

"Absolutely!"

"Are you sure? What if someone tries to steal it?"

"That cuff there is a patented Bring-My-Broom-Home tracker made by the goblins themselves. Why, are you in a broom thief gang?" He smiled a bit like he was sharing a private joke with me, his blue eyes kind.

"No," I murmured, looking at the floor.

"Hey, I didn't mean to embarrass you. Come on now, I'll give you an extra five minutes just because I'm clumsy, alright?" He bargained, voice full of humor. It's not that I'm embarrassed, I wanted to tell him. You've done nothing wrong, I've just got really awkward social skills.

"Alright," I nodded, my heart leaping at the prospect of flying, which I hadn't had much time for lately.

He handed it over and we opened the door to the streets.

"You know how to do this?" He asked, leaning up against the door frame and crossing his arms.

I looked at him and nodded. "Yup." I swung my leg over like I had been born on a broom and it rocketed up with the smallest of cues. The hot summer air streamed through my robes and hair, and I let the heavy black material slip back down my shoulders slightly so the sun could warm my skin. I closed my eyes with happiness, and whooped loudly once I was high enough that I knew no one could hear me.

This was bliss.

I grinned so widely I thought my face would crack. I leveled myself out and looked down at Diagon Alley, where the bustling street looked like a tiny, bright spec surrounded by muggle London-they were so close to magic, yet they never noticed. How could they live their whole lives in ignorance?

I forgot about everything but wind and flying...I pulled my hair out of its ponytail and let the wind stream through it, laughing with glee as I did a sloth roll, completely turning over on my broom and sitting upright again.

I did loop de loops and figure eights, my stomach swooping pleasurably whenever I dropped altitude fast. I pushed the broom as high as it could go until it began to vibrate and I descended again in a steep dive. This broom could go twice as high as any I'd ever flown on before. The _Starcrossed__. _What a fitting name. I wondered what it would be like to ride at night.

The cuff on my-no, _the _broom, not mine yet, I reminded myself-began to beep, and the numbers _59, 58, 57, 56 _began to count down in red.

I prepared to plummet into a steep descent, loving the thrill of adrenaline that coursed through my veins as I dove.

I pulled the broom up fifteen feet shy of the ground, my hair fluttering back around my shoulders in a terrible mass of knots. I barely noticed. I shrugged the robe back up on my shoulders.

I floated lightly to the ground, smile disappearing when my feet touched the ground once more. Back to the real world. I quickly threw my tangled hair back up into a bun.

"That was some first rate flying," Tonks gasped as he reset the cuff on the handle with a twist of his fingers, and the beeping stopped. "Do you play Quidditch? Do you go to Hogwarts?"

I hesitated. I knew this boy wouldn't be so kind to me once he knew I was a Black. But then again, why did I care?

"I'm the Slytherin reserve seeker," I said, a bit reluctantly.

"Oh, you're-you're Andromeda Black," Tonks tried to mask the disappointment in his eyes, but I could read it easily. There was also a bit of disgust. But along with the disgust, something else that I couldn't quite read, a flash of recognition. He made a face like he wanted to say something, but didn't.

I was disappointed, too. And somehow, it would have been worse if he hadn't acted any differently. It gave me a hard, odd sort of pleasure that once people heard my name they turned a cold shoulder. Like Tonks, like those ladies at the hotel-Tricia and Evelyn-because I knew I deserved it and it made me feel a bit better that I wasn't getting off scot-free.

"I thought I recognized you," he said with a new tone in his voice, coolly polite. "I'm the Hufflepuff Keeper. Your sister Bellatrix knocked my best mate off his broom last year, broke his leg in the only game he played all year, he was a reserve chaser. Also, your family put up a fit because they had to share a room with muggle-borns," his eyes grew hard and even though I didn't know him, I was shocked because I instinctively knew that this boy-man-whatever he was-was not angered easily. "They're my parents' best friends."

_Channel Bellatrix. Be Bellatrix._

"My parents' affairs have nothing to do with me," I said coolly, my voice dripping with venom.

"Really? Because they're your parents. They have _everything _to do with you," Tonks said, just as coolly.

"You know, I don't think I'll be buying here after all," I smirked, entertaining myself with notions of my family storming into this shop and demanding to see this boy fired and at the same time...hating myself for it.

"Why? Because in this shop you won't get preferential treatment because you're a _pureblood _and _wealthy? _You looked like you were having the time of your life up there on that broom and any sane person with the money you have would buy it. I bet it's because you're even _more _prejudiced than your parents and won't buy from a muggleborn like me," he said smoothly. I was shaking with anger.

"How _dare _you insinuate that I-"

"Just leave, alright? And good luck trying to find another broom like this in all of Britain."

"Have a _nice _day," I snarled, angrily brushing back a chunk of hair that had fallen out of my bun. My wand clattered to the ground with the harsh motion, and before I could lean down to retrieve the cool wood, _Tonks stepped on it._

"No!" I wailed, gasping and picking up the two pieces that had broken clean in half, sparking feebly. It was only holding together by the stretchy piece of dragon heartstring in the middle. "You did that on purpose!" I snarled, pointing the pieces at Tonks and they sparked feebly as if to agree with my anger. He looked down at the wand in horror, practically going cross-eyed to see it.

"No, I didn't!" He protested. "You've spent so much time around your own family and their low moral values that you expect the same from everyone else. Not everyone else is like that! I apologize, I'll bring you to Ollivander's and pay for a new one-"

"You've done enough," I glared at him, eyes crackling with electricity. I tried not to scream-my wand, my sign of power and the _only _wand I'd ever had...broken in one careless step.

"Oh, come on. Let me buy you a new one!" He pleaded, his eyes begging. He probably just wanted my money for the broom. I felt cold and stiff and mad because I felt like a Black and I was acting like one, too.

I didn't know how to act any other way.

"I'm sorry," Tonks said in an exasperated tone for the millionth time. I turned my head away from him, adjusting myself on the dark old chair so he got a lovely view of the back of my head. I was so exhausted, so used up inside. Something about Tonks made me feel...horrible. Well, not exactly like that. Whenever I did something wrong, said something rude, gave him the cold shoulder...he made me feel like I was kicking a helpless puppy.

"You're not sorry," I contradicted him coolly. "Your words say one thing, but the tone of your voice says clearly that you're disgusted with me." _There. _Not exactly what Bellatrix would have said, but the tone and level of emotion were identical.

I rested my arm on the back of the chair, laid my head down and closed my eyes, facing away from Ted Tonks. I wanted to be out of Ollivander's wand shop, not with Tonks and certainly not with a broken wand sitting in my lap.

I couldn't keep turned away from him for very long; facing this way I was inhaling clouds of dust from the table to my right.

The room was dark, and we were waiting for the wandmaker. The tall desk in front of us was empty. We sat in chairs pushed up against the walls paneled with dark wood, and the space was so small that in between here and the desk I could kick my feet out and brush the front of it.

The walls, of course, were shelved from floor to ceiling with wands.

"Black-"

"Tonks please, just don't. I don't deserve your apologies, real or not," I blurted, turning to face him. He looked vibrant and bright in this dusty, dark shop like a ray of light. His lips parted slightly and his eyes narrowed the teeniest bit in surprise. His long limbs were splayed out every which way, legs straight and touching the desks in front of us, arms flung over the armrests.

"But I stepped on your wand," he managed to utter.

"I know. I can pay for it. It's alright. You can go back to your shop."

"I...are you sure?" He scratched the back of his head, bringing his legs under him like he was going to stand up. I nodded, looking back at him, brown eyes meeting blue. He held my gaze for a moment and I froze. He was scrutinizing me, examining my face like my feelings were on display-like it was _easy _for the world to see. The mask that I always wore, the blank, emotionless facade I put up for everyone else-Tonks was peeling it away layer by layer with his eyes alone. I quickly looked away before he could see what was underneath.

"Bye, Black," he said stiffly, the look of disgust back in his eyes. I didn't blame him.

I looked up after him as the doorbell chimed softly-I stood quickly and watched him out the window, taking long, purposeful strides back toward the Quidditch shop.

"Ah, Andromeda Black," I heard an old, scratchy voice announce my name from behind me and came face to face with Ollivander, pale as paper, hair in white tufts around his face but smiling as he recounted the exact properties of my former wand.

"That's all correct," I smiled, relaxing a bit in his presence. "Now I'm need of another one, just in time for school tomorrow."

"The paper for Master Black," one of our house elves' gravelly voices sounded from behind my shoulder, and I turned and took the _Daily Prophet, _handing it to father. He took it without a word and Bellatrix gave a little cough, sitting up a bit straighter in her seat. She smiled triumphantly down at her eggs. My father frowns a bit as his eyes skimmed the headline. He set it down and I picked it up.

"Masked Dark Wizards Terrorize Muggle Theater," I read aloud, a sick feeling growing in my stomach. I perused the article, looking for numbers-a time, possibly-there it is. 1:17 PM yesterday. We were at Diagon Alley then, and the burning of the building happened ten minutes after Bellatrix left us with those _friends _of hers.

Death Eaters.

At least, that's what they were _trying _to be.

I felt like I was going to throw up; in the picture there were a whole group of males and females wearing silver masks and running wildly, laughing maniacally with their wands clutched in their hands as the building went up in flames behind them. Muggles fled, terrified.

Above them, what I had come to recognize as the Dark Mark was seared into the sky.

One of the cloaked and masked Death Eaters had wild black hair and a willowy build.

Bellatrix.

I closed my eyes. Words from the headline swam across my eyelids.

_Seven casualties...being treated in St. __Mungo's__ burn ward...memories altered...no deaths have been reported thus far..._

I opened my eyes.

"Are you planning on taking the initiation, then?" I asked, taking special care to keep my voice even, making sure my face was a mask of carefully concealed emotions. I thought each word through carefully before I let them slip out.

"I think it's a good idea," my father professed, nodding approvingly at Bellatrix.

"Me too, dear. If you chose to do so, your father and I support you. We think this man, Lord Voldemort has the right idea," my mother snapped her fingers and a house elf appeared to take her empty dishes.

I clenched my hands tightly on the wooden armrests of my chair, my fingers turning white with the strain.

The initiation to become a Death Eater.

Bellatrix-a Death Eater.

They were going to hunt down muggles and muggleborns for a _sport, _hosted by the Black family, and we were going to watch it and rank them along with Voldemort and his other followers.

_That _was the initiation.

I leaned over the edge of my chair and the knots in my stomach began to tighten...I promptly vomited all over the kitchen floor.

"Oh, Andromeda!" My mother shrieked, and immediately several house elves appeared to start cleaning up. I wiped my mouth delicately with a napkin and took a sip of orange juice, getting the taste of bile out of my mouth. Within seconds the floor was spotless once more and the smell had disappeared.

"Sorry," I whispered, my voice hoarse. "I just-I had a little bit too much to eat. I'm not hungry." I pushed away my barely touched food and both of my parents nodded, looking at me, a bit frightened.

"Maybe you should go lie down," my mother said awkwardly, not making a move to get out of her chair. "You still have an hour until you have to catch the train. Don't throw up at the station, we don't want people saying that we live in unsanitary conditions," she said, mouth drawn. That was as close to motherly concern as she ever got.

"I'm alright," I protested, my voice still slightly hoarse. "I'm fine now. I-I want to stay."

She nodded and my father went back to reading the newspaper.

"Narcissa, what do you think about all of this?" Bellatrix asked eagerly, her eyes glinting strangely.

"I-I think it's a good idea too," she gave a little nod. "Lucius speaks highly of him."

"Good man, Lucius," Father nodded approvingly.

"And you, Andi?" Bellatrix asked breathlessly.

"I-I-," I began, opening and closing my mouth. Ted's face flashed before my eyes.

_Seven casualties._

"I think it's a good opportunity," I lied, nodding. I felt bile rise in my throat again, but gulped and forced it back down, acid burning my throat. I quickly took another sip of orange juice, my hands clammy. "Mudbloods need to be taught their rightful place."

I must lie, because when it came down to it, I was a Black first and my individual opinions are forced to come second. If I apologized to a muggleborn at noon, at the end of the day we scoffed at them again.

**A\N-And now she has met Ted! Hope you guys liked this and please review :D **

**And thanks to everyone who read and reviewed last chapter; if I didn't PM you to thank you, my apologies and I will try to do so this chapter!**

**Roll-of-the-red**


	3. Chapter 3

**STILL not mine, everything belongs to JK Rowling!**

**Enjoy, and happy late birthday to CLS!**

**By the way, this is not betaed so I apologize for errors.**

**-R**

**Chapter 3**

_Problem#3-your parents do not see you off at the train station._

I stared out the window of the train, rocking slightly in my seat as we began to roll slowly forward. People in my year (6th) from Slytherin who shared the train car with me chatted and laughed, talking about Voldemort and summer and boyfriends. I was slightly detached from it all; I hear the buzzing of voices in my ears but I wasn't interested in tuning them in.

I looked at the sea of waving, crying faces in the train station. I picked out a plump, kind looking woman and man and imagined that they were _my _parents, waving and seeing me off. It wasn't that hard to pretend, they almost looked like they were looking right at me-they were really waving at the next window over.

Details.

"Did you get the new broom, Andi?" Casey Thorne, my best and only friend, squeezed my arm by way of greeting. Neither of us were big huggers.

Maybe I should explain a bit. Casey wasn't my _only _friend, but she was the only girl I _considered _a friend. The rest of the girls and boys that sat by me in classes and in the Great Hall-Narcissa and Bella, too-chose to do so not because my presence was enjoyable but because of my money and blood status. And last name. So they thought they'd be illustrious by default.

"No," I sighed as the conversations continued around us. "I went to the store and...well, it's a long story. I really don't know what I'm going to do, I need a new broom before the first time I have to play, my old one flew into the Whomping Willow, remember?"

"Oh yeah," Casey nodded, sticking her finger into the place of her book.

I glanced around the train car, only half aware of what I was doing.

My eyes widened and I did a double take: was that _Bellatrix _sitting with Rodolphus's arm around her? Bellatrix, who hated men and always swore her eternal singleness?

He was probably already so wrapped around her finger that he couldn't tell which was up and which way would have him hanging upside down, staring cross-eyed at Bellatrix's wand. He noticed me staring and curled mouth slowly into his signature cruel smile. I looked away before the look of disgust could register on my face.

"What did you do this summer?" I asked Casey. She had barely opened her mouth to answer when the door burst open, and an out of breath boy ran through.

Ted.

"Is Andromeda in here?" He gasped, holding a broom and a small pouch that looked suspiciously familiar. I widened my eyes and stood up on shaky legs, the gently movements of the train rocking the car slightly.

Noises of distaste and a shout of "_get back to your compartment, mudblood!" _issued a chorus of laughter but Ted looked at the group who had said it and smiled. _Smiled._ They were so shocked they stopped laughing and stared in surprise.

Except for Bellatrix. She glared at me like she was envisioning my death in her head. Maybe it was _me _she had tangled up in her spider's web, just waiting for the right moment to devour.

I cringed and looked back to Ted, aware of the whole train car's eyes on me.

"I think this belongs to you," Ted said, jerkily bringing his arm out to me, blue eyes locked on mine. I forced myself to look him in the eyes, and suddenly felt shy. How did he do it? How could he just stand here so calmly when he was clearly being mentally picked apart like a piece of meat by the Slytherins? He smiled sweetly at me and my heart broke for the boy that I didn't even know.

"I-it's not mine, I didn't buy it," I shook my head after a moment's pause.

"Yes, you did. Your sack of money dropped when your wand did and I...I got it for you. Employees discount too, so here's the change," he handed me the pouch of money, a few coins jangling at the bottom.

"I-thanks," I stuttered, taking the broom and the sack.

"It's nothing. You bought it yourself, really," he said, ducking his head. "I better go. I don't think...I don't think..." I didn't get to find out just what exactly he didn't think, because he turned and left, scratching the back of his head as he closed the door. The train car erupted into hoots and laughter and raucous jokes at Ted's expense.

"Androoooomeda, I didn't know you played that game!" Rodolphus called, his arm still around Bellatrix whose eyes clearly said _I'm not helping you out of this._

_Fine, _my eyes told her back. _I don't need your help._

"What game, Rodolphus?" I hissed, eyes flashing. I felt anger bubbling up within me along with the coursing adrenaline at the prospect of a fight as I subtly brushed my fingers against my wand in my pocket. My blood hummed in my ears and I felt _anger._

"I didn't know you started using mudbloods like that_-" _Narcissa sat up and spun around, eyes flashing in one of her rare bouts of anger. My face burned red at the assumption Rodolphus had about Ted and me.

"Don't talk to a Black like that! We're far superior to you!" She yelled, cheeks pink. Rodolphus's smile vanished and he closed his mouth. Bellatrix threw his arm off of her, disgusted, and his face turned red with embarrassment. Almost as red as I was sure mine was.

"Take _that_, 'Dolphus!" Avery snickered, his crooked teeth showing. Nott and Crabbe hooted with laughter, and so did Charles Parkinson and Xavier McKinley.

"That mudblood was just some boy who stepped on my sister's wand when she tried to buy a broom from his store," Narcissa hissed. "Nothing _else_. _We _don't associate with those sorts of people, Lestrange. Can you say the same?_" _

She sat back down.

"You go, Cissy," Hilda Parkinson called loudly, slinging her arm around Narcissa and they both burst out laughing at Rodolphus. Anybody looking in on that situation would have been awed at Narcissa standing up for me, but I knew she was defending our reputation as a whole, not just myself. Not really me, at all.

I sank back down into my seat and imagined I was in the room by myself. The exercise did nothing to relax me, and my posture remained stiff and rigid.

I knew if I talked with Ted again that it would mean bad things for both of us. Narcissa had covered for me once, making sure Rodolphus knew we were nothing more than accidental acquaintances, but if he saw us talking again he would do something about it, maybe attacking Ted directly. It didn't take much for someone like him to hurt a mudblood, and he would already be searching for any pretext for revenge.

Dumbledore clinked his silver spoon against his goblet. The sound of metal on glass echoed down the great hall, effectively stilling conversations and causing a short wave of _shhhh's__. _

"May I have your attention!" Dumbledore stood. By this time the great hall was almost completely silent. He walked slowly to the front of the professors' table, coming to rest his hands on the golden stand with an owl's head mast and flickering candles dripping wax.

"I want to, once more, welcome new students to the castle for the first time. For those coming back, welcome once more into the walls of Hogwarts.

"I suspect many of you know what I wish to speak of tonight, and I chose to do so after the meal because I did not want to spoil your appetites before this marvelous feast." Murmurs of agreement rose around the room.

Icy fingers clutched at my insides. My hands grew damp and clammy and I enclosed folds of my black robes in my fist. He was going to speak of-

"Lord Voldemort," Dumbledore boomed. "You have all heard this name. And the fact is sad but true, but you will likely remember the title of this rising dark lord for the rest of your lives. I wish to assure each and every one of you that this castle will remain as well-protected as ever-more so, even. I would go so far as to say it is impenetrable. So rest assured that your beds are as comfortable as they always have been, and these walls are more secure than they have ever been. Keep your friends close.

"On that last note, you may have perceived a somewhat large - and growing - portion of the wizarding population is beginning to refer to Lord Voldemort as _You-Know-Who. _I wish to discourage this. Call him by his name. Do not let him build enough terror to hide behind what is not a name at all. If you fear to speak his name, your terror of the man himself…if he can be _called _a man, that is-will only intensify. On that happy note, I have three more words for you. Vex, abecedarian, and factate, which probably describes the majority of you now. Happy nighttime!"

"Strange as ever," remarked Delia, one of the girls who trailed my sisters and me.

_I'm not a good role model! _I wanted to scream. _Don't look up to me!_

"Black, are you going to try out for Quidditch this year?" Coltrane Darbis, 7th year Slytherin Quidditch captain, ran up to my side as we streamed out of the great hall.

"Yup," I nodded, thinking of Ted with a rush of gratitude. I had a broom. More precisely, I had the best broom that had come out yet. "I have the Starcrossed!" I said excitedly, and Darbis's smile widened even more, white against his dark skin. He was lean and tall, not the traditional build for a Beater but still the best one we'd seen in years.

"We're going to _destroy _in our first game this October!" He said enthusiastically, pounding his fist against his palm.

"I'm not on the team yet," I reminded him. "And besides, I'm always reserve seeker."

"Yeah, but Gordo Motley's graduated last year...your catch and loss ratio was almost as good as his, you'll probably get picked."

I nodded, slightly tongue tied. As much as I loved flying, actually _being _on the team was a huge commitment. I quickly realized he wasn't facing me and therefore had not seen my nod-

"Thanks," I said a bit awkwardly.

"Yup!" Darbis grinned, parting through the throngs of people to join his friends.

"Mh hmm," I said to his disappearing back.

In the midst of all these people who knew where they stood more than I did and had more people to lean on than I ever would, I couldn't help but feeling like a feckless bit of driftwood struggling to stay afloat in the midst of crashing waves.

"Don't worry, Andi, you're going to be fine!" Casey assured me, her cheeks pink from the cutting wind. She shivered and pulled her Slytherin scarf up to her nose, and I mimicked her action, relishing the warmth. I couldn't wear it while I was trying out, it would only hinder me up in the air, racing against the clock.

We picked up our pace, jogging down the hill to the pitch. I held the Starcrossed in my cold hands, my fingers numb as they curled around the broomstick. For the tenth of September, it was wickedly cold. It felt as though the very air molecules consisted of frost.

A shiver racked my whole body; from the chill or panicky nervousness, I wasn't sure.

"Black!" Darbis shouted from behind a small herd of Slytherins trying out. "Seekers over here!" I nodded stiffly, throwing a terrified look at Casey.

"I still haven't decided!" I whispered fiercely, my eyes darting back and forth from the stands to Darbis's hopeful expression. The stands were quickly accumulating students from various houses, all gathering, no doubt, to scope out the Slytherin team for their new rivals. My stomach squirmed uncomfortably.

Slytherins were last to try out, so of course all three house's teams were lined up and watching.

My eyes widened slightly as I saw Ted's distinctly blonde hair bobbing within the crowd of Hufflepuffs, and turned away quickly so he wouldn't think I was staring.

He had been starting to pop up everywhere lately. I clenched my broomstick even tighter and turned back toward Casey.

"Just do it, Andi, I know you can," she hissed, pushing me forward. "You'll thank me for this later-DARBIS! ANDI'S TRYING OUT FOR SEEKER!" She bellowed, putting both her hands on my back and pushing me forward toward the pitch.

"What-no-Casey!" I hissed, struggling to free from her grip. Once I twisted out, she looked at me with a knowing expression.

"What are you going to do now? Run back to the castle even though you love flying?" Casey demanded, putting her hands on her hips. "You are a _Slytherin__. _You are _ambitious. _So _go try out."_ She gave me another little shove toward the pitch, and this time I kept walking.

Seekers were the last to try out, and I was the last of the seekers. The players in the stands that had started off as a crowd had dwindled into a handful: the team captains, and the very most determined players. I wasn't sure which one of those options Ted was, but he was there.

So was Narcissa, and Bellatrix. Why was she up in the stands? She _always _tried out for beater and had been on the team since fourth year. What made her stop? I frowned up at the stands.

They had brought their separate but intermingling groups of friends; Narcissa's elite group of socialite, pureblood girls with wealthy parents. And Bellatrix, with mostly boys who wanted to be Death Eaters. But I felt a strange sort of warmth that my sisters had come to watch the tryouts.

However, the rest of me was stiff and cold for standing so still for so long in the driving wind, and I kept my hands balled together to try and keep my fingers from going numb. The wind pounded frigid needles of ice through my thick robes like they were made from parchment, and I muttered a warming spell. It didn't do much-it was like holding a candle against the pouring rain.

"An-Andromeda Black," Darbis's teeth chattered as he buried his face into the silver and emerald scarf tied around his neck. "Y-you're up."

"Why isn't Bellatrix trying out?" I asked, taking off my scarf and balling it into my pocket. It wouldn't do any good flapping around my neck up there.

"She said she was busy this year," Darbis shook his head regretfully. "Extracurriculars, I think it was...a shame, she was a good flier, though a bit violent..." He trailed off, looking into the distance.

It was odd-Bellatrix wasn't in any other club, what could she be talking about?

I took a deep, calming breath and tried to clear my mind. The Snitch. Flying. That was all I needed to think about.

He released the snitch and I mounted my broom. He began to count down from thirty, my heart twisting tighter with each word.

I tried to follow the glimmering yellow sphere with my eyes but it was quickly lost against the heavy gray backdrop of the cloudy sky. It had probably been thrice around the stadium by now, pelted around by the violent gusts of wind.

_"Three...two...one..._GO!" He yelled, bringing his arm down like an auctioneer. I shot into the air, rising above the stadium, faster than the wind itself. The air _whooshed _and whistled in my ears.

The cold seeped out of my veins and pure adrenaline took its place, my hands shaking in excitement. I shot ahead even faster, leaning forward for the pure joy of it. I let out a whoop because _no one could hear me up here._

I smiled, because no one could see me up here either.

My hair flew back, and my robes crackled and snapped. Cool wind rushed over my body, fast and furious.

My eyes combed over every square inch of the air.

Surprisingly, it did not take as long as I had thought for a glint of gold caught my roving eyes. I plummeted toward it, ducking into a steep dive without slowing down. The momentum almost pushed me off the end of my broom. I was in a nosedive practically perpendicular to the ground, plunging down toward the grass which was rising up toward me like my life depended on it.

I outstretched my hand...I screamed through my teeth with relief as my fingers closed around the snitch, wings fluttering weakly in my hand. I pulled up parallel to the bottom of the field just in time. The Slytherins rose and cheered, and I had to work to keep the smile from spreading from ear to ear. I allowed myself a tiny upward curl of the lips.

I waved triumphantly at Narcissa and Bellatrix, the cool metal pressed against the palm of my right hand. I was shaking from the rush of it all, and Casey was jumping up and down and shouting her congratulations like she couldn't wait for me to walk over there so she could deliver them normally.

"What-what was the time?" I ran up to Darbis, my broom clutched tightly in between my arms, the snitch in my closed fist. I handed the ball to him, and he shut it in the trunk.

"Ten minutes fifty-three seconds!" He announced happily, offering his hand for a high-five, which I slapped heartily. "That was the fastest time by twenty seconds, Black! And I know you can do it in a real game too, with distractions and everything."

"Thanks," I nodded, screaming with glee on the inside, my face barely betraying my feelings.

"No problem. Good job, Black. We're putting together a wicked team this year. Results will be posted in the common rooms sometime this week."

"Alright," I nodded, and made my way over to Casey. The last of the students were trickling out of the stands, the Slytherins heading toward us and the other houses turning slightly to the right to give us a wide berth. It was obvious, just from the way they walked, that we were the least favored house. The snake pit. I hoped one day Hogwarts would overcome that prejudice. Most of the Slytherins were generally good people. Casey was, Darbis was.

How many people would get the chance to know that?

It had been exactly three days and two hours since the Quidditch tryouts. The papers were going to be hung at nine o'clock in the common rooms, but I couldn't stay there. I was being constantly glared at by Rodolphus, obviously still miffed about being shown up on the train, even though I hadn't said a word. I was just an easier target than Narcissa.

I was letting him get to me, which was something I could normally ignore, but I couldn't research the properties of gillyweed under his furious stare...so I left for the library. A few weeks into school and already the homework was stacking itself neatly into piles.

_You've got NEWTS next year, and they aren't going to be anything like OWLS! It would be in your best interest to start studying NOW! _Sayings like that were the general theme of the past two weeks.

But particularly this morning, it seemed, all the teachers had banded together and agreed to all harp on us about tests a year and a half away, and then give us loads of homework to help us practice.

I groaned and rested my forehead on the cool mahogany of a back library table, which I had all to myself. It was covered with books, and secluded in the corner of a section of books that was rarely perused, right next to the Restricted section.

I closed my eyes for a brief moment, and everything else slipped away.

"Bellatrix, what exactly _do _you have to do to become...you know."

Murmured whispers aroused me from my sleep and I opened my eyes, groggily lifting my head. I balled my hands into fists and rubbed at my eye sockets, letting my pupils adjust to the dim lights. How long had I been asleep? The windows had gone completely black, the lamps in the corners lighting the room themselves.

I turned my head from left to right, not seeing anyone until my eyes fell upon the space between the bookshelf in front of me.

I saw a sliver of a scene I'd rather not be caught on either side of: listening _or _participating.

A group of Slytherins, Bellatrix at the head. Speaking in hushed whispers, not about homework.

I crept closer.

"The Initiation, but that's only the first bit. I plan to take it the second I graduate," Bellatrix said in a low, powerful voice. "We-the Blacks-host it. We sneak into the old Quidditch stadium outside of Wales and the people wanting to serve _him _hunt down muggles and mudbloods that we stock up on beforehand and set loose in the stadium." I shuddered with disgust. Bella sounded like she was talking about animals.

"What if you lose?" The unfamiliar voice continued to question Bellatrix. Unkind snickers sounded from around the table.

"Then you die," Rabastian's rumbling voice came. "Obviously." There was another bout of chuckling at the questioner's expense.

"No, what if you don't kill any of them?" The questioner sounded irritated at being laughed at.

"Well then you have to do it again, don't you?" A cruel voice I thought was Avery's informed him. "But the best ones-the ones who kill the most the first time around-get to do more things later."

"What do you mean, more things?"

"So many questions," Rodolphus sighed to Bellatrix, who turned her lips up in a cruel version of a smile.

"You get to go out on more..._tasks..._later on. If you know what I mean."

"Oh," came the voice. There was a long pause. "And...the mark? I heard his followers were marked."

I wanted to get out of this conversation. I _had _to get out from behind the bookcase. But if I did, they would think I had been eavesdropping and then, Black or not, I would be in _huge _trouble.

Even I didn't know Bellatrix was that far into Voldemort's mess.

Because that was, undoubtedly, what they were talking about. I had known that practically from the first sentence. I stuffed my fist into my mouth to hold in a scream

"Not all of them. Only the best. And none of us, obviously. We're not even graduated yet," another cool, slippery voice came. Lucius. He was only a fifth year. Was Narcissa there too? My breathing grew short and heavy, and I feared they could hear it from the other side of the bookcase.

How could they now know I was here? Hadn't they checked before they started talking about these things?

I couldn't get out of here without them seeing me.

And then, I realized something. The signs had been there all along, how deep along in the dark arts that Bellatrix was. I just hadn't want to see them.

_Dark arts _was the "extracurricular" she'd lied to Darbis about.

Someone murmured something I couldn't hear, and they all broke out into quiet laughter. Then a harsh voice-

"This is not a conferencing room. I see no books out. Get out of here, get! Go to your common rooms if you wish to socialize!" The harsh, shrieking voice of Madame Pince, the librarian, was, for once, welcome.

"We're sorry, Professor, we were just speaking about homework," came Lucius's perfectly level, slippery voice.

"Well, don't do it in here. This library is for _reading, _Master Malfoy. Five points from Slytherin," she said sharply. I saw movement in between the crack of space I was allotted to watch through, and stared at their retreating backs as they walked, louder than necessary, out of the library. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"You there!" Madame Pince barked, and I barely contained my squeal of fright, jumping out of my crouch and almost falling into the bookshelf.

"Yes?" I squeaked, my face beat red.

"Are _you _looking for a book, or are you blatantly disregarding the rules of the library like your fellow Slytherins?" She narrowed her eyes at me and crossed her arms, tapping her foot.

"No, I-just-I was-I dropped something," I blurted as my eyes came to rest on something lying on the carpet. I swooped down and grabbed it, waving in her general direction.

"Yes, let me see that." She snatched it out of my hands before I could protest. Her beady eyes narrowed and travelled from left to right quickly as she perused the front of the paper-it looked like a large brochure, with several many times folded over papers stuck in toward the spine.

"I wasn't aware that you had changed your name to Theodore Tonks," she raised her eyebrow suspiciously at me.

"Oh, I-well-really, I was doing my homework just over there!" I protested, pointing toward the table where at least five open books were sitting, papers scattered all about.

"Yes, fine," she sighed. "Would you rather I deducted another five points from Slytherin or would you spare an old woman the trouble of hunting down Theodore Tonks?" She sighed, snapping the brochure shut with a snap.

"I'll give it to him next time I see him," I said quickly, holding out my hand. Giving me a weary smile, she deposited the brochure into my outstretched palm.

"It's getting late," she informed me. "It's almost past curfew. You'd better get to your common room before nine."

"Thank you," I said gratefully, hurrying over to the table to close my books and gather my things. I shoved my half-finished homework into the spines of the books and stacked them on top of one another, levitating them in a pile and charming it to follow after me as I looked at the cover of the brochure.

_Annual World-Wide __Quidditch__ Races for the Adventurous! _

_(Sponsored by the National __Quidditch__ foundation, dragons imported from Romania and other obstacles imported from...)_

I tore my eyes away from the headline and looked at the picture. A perfect arrowhead formation of young adults on broomsticks raced against a perfectly clear blue sky, smiling serenely. Suddenly they all drew their wands and aimed them at the dark green dragon that had just appeared, flying in the corner of the picture. They blasted at him and flew over and around his great scaly body, narrowly avoiding his fiery breath.

Then they approached a wall of violently clashing rocks, which were smashing together every once in a while. There had to be some sort of pattern to it. I stared intently at it for the better part of five minutes (letting my feet do the thinking and trusting them to take me the familiar route to the Slytherin common rooms in the dungeons) and finally concluded they smashed at intervals in a pattern of ten, fifteen, five, and twenty seconds. The picture intrigued me. If Ted was considering flying in this, I could see why.

In small print at the bottom, it read _National __Quidditch__ Association and all involved sponsors or affiliates are not responsible for injury, damaged property, or death. Registration takes place at the Ministry on floor..._

I flipped the brochure open. The first page held a few samples of the obstacles in no particular order, although as stated, they were interchangeable and liable to vary at any time. The clashing rocks and dragons, which I'd seen on the cover, a maze of mirrors that collapsed behind the flier, a floating minefield...it all seemed very...deadly.

And it looked like this race was the highlight of many, many adventurer's lives. The thrill of possible death in a pretty packaging was a lure that attracted many.

But if it was founded by the Ministry, it couldn't be completely horrible. I'd heard of the races before, but they weren't as well-known as Quidditch, having started less than a century ago. I quickly grabbed at a piece of parchment that fluttered out, snatching the well-worn material. It was soft from being unfolded and folded numerous times.

Slanted handwriting filled three fourths of the front page, listing dates and sums of money.

The dates started around three years ago and the column containing the amounts of money was anywhere from a few sickles to twenty galleons. I touched the handwriting with my finger. Ted had obviously put a lot of time into organizing it. Maybe I shouldn't have been looking at it, but I didn't have the willpower to stop myself. I looked at the next page of the brochure.

_Racing fee (bring your own broom) 500 galleons._

It was circled heavily, five or six times.

The paper I had just been scanning was Ted's logbook. He was saving up for the deadly broom races.

Suddenly I felt a lot less indifferent toward those deadly obstacles than I did ten minutes ago. If Ted-that sweet, sweet boy whom I barely knew was injured...just the thought of it actually made me squirm.

**A\N I am pretty sure the races are actually Canon, I am pretty sure I remember reading about them in the Quidditch through the ages.**

**Love it? Hate it? I'd love to know what you think!**

**Roll-of-the-red**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_**Problem #4- We take the first years' seats to talk about Voldemort.**_

"Excuse me," I tapped Ted on the shoulder. He turned around, half a smile still on his face from the laugh he had shared with the table of friends he sat with. They all looked at me, not unkindly, but rather like they were wondering what the heck Bellatrix's little sister was doing talking to a universally liked Hufflepuff, Ted Tonks.

"You dropped thi-"

Before I could finish my sentence Ted whipped around and jumped out of his chair, the noises sounding extra loud in the back of the library.

"Could you-could you come with me for a moment please, Black?" Ted inquired in an oddly strangled voice.

"Sure," I agreed suspiciously, following him as he weaved through row after row of bookshelves, coming to stop in a secluded corner.

"Sorry about that," he smiled easily, although there was a trace of uneasiness behind his calm demeanor. "Could I have the brochure, please?" He held his hand out expectantly. Interesting technique. If I didn't give it to him right away, he would make me feel impolite by making him hold out his hand so long. I blinked and looked back up at his face, his blue eyes and-

"You want to be in the races?" I blurted suddenly, gripping the brochure even tighter.

"I-sort of," he said, his jaw working. He shifted his weight to his other foot and smiled sheepishly, closing his hand into a fist and stuffing it back in the sweatshirt of his muggle sweatshirt. It said the word _Cambridge _on it. I had no idea what that meant.

"You know they're deadly, right?" My voice came out slightly louder than I intended, but I was sure my expression was neutral. His eyes darted back and forth like he was trying to read my face for any sort of emotion. Good luck with that, pretty boy, I thought drily inside my head and then my cheeks warmed. I shouldn't have let that word slip, even inside my head.

I looked around uneasily, thinking of the last time I had been in the library. Last night. Bellatrix, aspiring to be a Death Eater. If she pulled Cissy into this mess, I would make her feel the pain I felt the minute I realized that she was turning dark.

"I know, but I'm a fair flyer," Ted protested, arching a blonde eyebrow. "Why would _you _care if I died?" My heart began to hum quickly and my brain raced for something to say. It felt like hours, but in reality it was probably only a few seconds. I hoped.

"Ah, you must be about to flip your lid," Ted's grin widened.

"_Excuse _me?"

"Your face goes even blanker when you're freaking out internally," Ted smiled sweetly with a hint of knowing about how flustered he was making me feel. My jaw went slightly slack. How had he observed that in all of the two weeks he'd known me? It sounded longer than it actually was, but we'd only seen each other a few times in that period.

"No it doesn't. And are you _trying _to get yourself killed? Do you know how many people die each year in the races?" I snapped.

"An average of thirty. Out of _hundreds. _Dromeda, why are you so worried?" He arched an eyebrow. I opened and closed my mouth, floundering. _No one _had ever called me that before. I struggled to find words to say.

_What was it _about this boy that left me wondering which was was up and which way left me facing off against everything I'd ever been taught by the Slytherins, by my family?

Don't play that game with yourself, I told my brain firmly. You are not one of those girls who stare out of windows and wonder _Golly gee, I think about so-and-so all the time and he's just so kind and handsome...but gosh, just don't know if I fancy him!_

_Not _that I fancied Ted.

But maybe, I realized, with dawning horror, I was a tiny bit attracted to him.

Okay, that sounded bad. It wasn't horrible because he was a mudbl-er, muggleborn, it was just that fact that...well, it basically came down to befriending Ted _or _keeping everything else in my entire life that I had ever cared about...a bit dramatic, but I knew that's what it would be. Ted, or everyone else. So in a way, it _was _because of his blood status.

And even if I felt I wasn't a Black through and through, I was Slytherin down to the core and I did not make decisions on impulse. I thought about them logically.

So, logically speaking, _no one's _friendship was worth losing everything else. Not even close.

"Dromeda, you in there?" Ted waved his hand in front of my face and I blinked, jumping back a bit.

"Don't call me that," I said waspishly, and immediately regretted the rudeness.. "_Please _don't call me that."

"Alright, what should I call you then?" Ted asked.

"Black," I said firmly. And then I realized with a start that I had been referring to Ted as _Ted _in my head all this time and not as _Tonks, _despite the fact that I still hardly knew him!

The words I wanted so badly to ask burned on my lips but I couldn't speak them: _do you feel like you've known me forever, too?_

He befuddled me.

"Do you know what you're up against, here?" I hissed, shoving the brochure into his chest. He looked startled, taking a step back, eyes wide with innocence. "Have you read the obstacles?"

"Of course I have!" He grinned easily, trying to reassure me. He crossed his muscled arms over his chest. "I can handle them. Really."

"What are you going to do if you accidentally run into a floating mine?" I asked slowly, like I was talking to a child. "It will explode and take you with it, sending you toward the ground in pieces. And what's left of you will be sent home to your family in a one of those tiny vials that Professor Slughorn uses for potions," I crossed my arms and glared, shifting my weight to my right leg.

"I've got a back-up plan," Ted said calmly.

"Yeah?" I waited, expectantly.

"Look, why do you care?" He raised his eyebrow and his eyes drifted to a spot behind my head, like he was watching to make sure his friends weren't coming after him.

"No one else knows you're doing this, do they?" I asked suddenly, realizing.

"Well..." Ted crossed and uncrossed his arms uncomfortably, scratching the back of his head and squinching his eyes closed. "Not exactly. I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone."

"Fine. I won't," I said shortly, annoyed with him for engaging in such a dangerous activity. If he wanted to die, then he could go ahead.

"Maybe you should meet them!" Ted beamed, and I almost felt bad that I was about to deflate his bubble. _Almost_.

"I can't," I told him flatly, and his smile faded slightly, his composure drooping like I really had just served him up the biggest disappointment in his life. Merlin, he was just like a child.

"Maybe another time then?" Ted asked, and I was grateful he didn't ask _why not _because then I would have to lie and say I didn't have time when I really meant _Bellatrix and Rodolphus and the unspoken rules of purebloodity._

"Congrats on making the Quidditch team, by the way," Ted called to my retreating back. I stopped, and turned back around.

"How did you know?"

"We captains talk," he grinned. "See you, Dromeda."

I didn't realize I had forgotten to correct him on the word "Dromeda" until much, much later.

"Hello, love," Rabastian Lestrange winked at me, flipping his dark hair out of his eyes and purposely brushing his hand against my shoulder to reach the flask of potion ingredients near me. _Go back to your cauldron, _I begged inside of my head. _He won't try anything in a classroom, _I tried to reassure myself.

"Hi," I said stiffly, freezing up. I didn't want him to touch me. Not because he wasn't good looking. He was. But because I knew under the thin, _very _thin top layer he was the biggest pig known to mankind.

"Why the long face, Little Bella?" He pouted, touching my chin with a cold finger. I froze internally. Since when had I started wearing my emotions on my face? How very un-Slytherin of me. I quickly rearranged my features, knowing immediately that the familiar, emotionless set was impenetrable once more.

"Just tired," I replied curtly, and Casey gave Rabastion a sidelong, wary glance, caution in her blue eyes.

"I've got my eye on you, Black," he whispered suggestively. I shivered with revulsion and with the close proximity of his lips to my ear.

"Stop it," I managed to order, stepping away from him, cheeks flaming and willing Slughorn to turn around, to stop talking to the clustered group of Gryffindors whose cauldron had just exploded, turn around and stop what was just about sexual harassment happening behind him.

I sure enough wasn't brave enough to stop it myself, but my insides screamed and something fiery in me sang for me to pull out my wand, not to just step aside like I had but to see Rabastion's blood flow. I was almost tempted to give into the song, to draw my wand and think the words of the spell all in one fluid movement but I didn't. I was too longanimous.

Right there in the middle of the dark Slytherin common room, I felt like I was sitting on a throne. Bellatrix and I sat on a claw-legged green leather couch, at the head of the circle of other Slytherins that were close to us in age and status. Mulciber, Avery, the Lestranges-Nott and Rookwood were the youngest as fourth years. Lucius and Narcissa were supposed to be here.

"Where is Narcissa?" Bellatrix whispered to me. Rodolphus laughed quietly at something Rabastian had said and a quiet buzz of chatter circled around our enclosed little spot in the common room, where we pulled all the furniture in. No younger student dared to complain about the lack of seats, and none of us gave a second thought to lending one of them the extra chairs. If they were good little Slytherins, they too would find themselves in the middle of this common room in a few years too, like some sort of formal meeting.

"I don't know, could she be with Lucius?" I murmured back, inclining my head toward hers. Her dark eyes reflected the fire in the corner of the room, her pale skin flawless. I unconsciously fidgeted. I wished I looked like her. Then no one would call me _Little Bella._

_"_She hates him," Bellatrix shook her head and I looked at her, slightly surprised.

"What, you didn't think I know?" She gave a little laugh, a glint of some emotion in her eyes. "I know more than you give me credit for, Andromeda." And she fixed me with a stare that froze me straight down to my heart.

I stared back, darker brown eyes meeting light, similar facial features pulled into the same mask void of emotion: but still a stand-off or sorts.

What, exactly, _did _she know? Over the past week I had not exchanged any words with Ted, carefully distancing myself from him. And Rodolphus, thankfully.

Ted and I just weren't compatible as friends, he had to realize that and stop trying to talk to me. The others would start to suspect something, and I would lose my carefully pieced together persona that was completely Slytherin, completely Black. I met this decision with calmness, with levelheadedness. I had known this since day one, had I not? It wasn't like had even _wanted _to be friends with Ted-he was just an annoying muggleborn that broke my wand.

I shifted uncomfortably, and looked away from Bellatrix. I knew a triumphant gleam had taken over her eyes without even having to look.

The entrance to the common room swung open and closed, and a slightly pink faced Narcissa walked in with Lucius. They were walking too closely together to be casually, coincidentally, meeting up at the entrance but coming from different directions.

Hmm.

"Sorry we're late, we were in the library and that idiotic librarian wouldn't stop looking down her nose at us," Lucius said coolly.

"We finally slipped out from behind her when she was helping a mudblood," Narcissa laughed, high and melodious.

"Nice going, Black," Avery smirked appreciatively at her as she passed, sitting down lightly on my right side. Lucius sank into a chair directly across from her, and they shared a quick, secret smile.

I thought I was the only one who had noticed until I saw a miniscule grin slide across Bellatrix's features, tiny enough that only I, who was watching for it, could catch it.

"Let's talk about Lord Voldemort," Bellatrix began. No one gave it a second thought, not the younger students studying, certainly not us. Here in the dungeons of the castle, Voldemort was as often spoken of as Quidditch. In the Great Hall, in other common rooms, it was spoken in hushed, horrified whispers spoken over tragic headlines of newspapers.

"How many of you plan on taking the initiation after graduation? I am," Bellatrix said proudly, a maniacal smile spreading across her face, and she sat up a bit straighter.

"I am!" Rodolphus said, grinning. Everyone seemed to be, except Lucius, Narcissa, myself,

"I'm considering it," Lucius said in that slippery voice of his. "I agree with what he's doing wholeheartedly, of course. I just want to see if he's going to fizzle out, if the Ministry catches him, or if he's actually going to go somewhere with this talk of blood purity."

A hiss of angry whispers circulated.

"You always were a slippery one, Lucius, not putting your loyalty in unless you're sure you'll get something out of it," I told him over the hissing, and there was a general stir of agreement.

"Don't you speak against the Dark Lord, Malfoy," Bellatrix hissed, setting her eyes on Lucius. Narcissa sat forward in her chair slightly and murmured something to calm Bellatrix, putting her white hand on Bella's arm.

She sat back in her seat, only slightly mollified.

"My father was in the attack in London last week," Avery bared his teeth by way of smiling and Bellatrix inclined her head at him.

"It's more important now than ever that we refrain from contact with mudbloods," Rodolphus spit the last word. "We don't want to be found associating with that sort of...scum." We all laughed in a cruel sort of way. "Not that it will matter much soon, anyway. Voldemort's going to eradicate them all," he smiled slightly. "And I fully believe he will."

"Where with you, with Malfoy?" I hissed, grabbing Narcissa's arm before she could walk up to the 5th year girls' dorm.

"What?" She feigned innocence-quite well, I might add-her silver eyes wide. She drew herself up to her full height, still several inches shorter than me.

"You walked in late, with Lucius," I said slowly. "What were you two doing? I thought you didn't like him."

"Shhh, Andromeda!" Narcissa hissed, eyes suddenly flashing. "Are you _trying _to ruin me?"

Sometimes, I forgot that I wasn't the only one with a bit of hidden identity that needed to be kept nicely covered.

An owl swooped into the room through the grate in the wall. We were too far down into the ground for there to be any windows, so there was a bit of an opening for owls to fly into when something was to be delivered.

My own black owl, Obsidian, flew silently up to me, landing gracefully on top of my shoulder, knowing that my arm would cave under her weight. She was the largest owl of any I'd seen, with amber eyes and not a spot of anything but black on her.

"From Mom and Dad," I said to Narcissa. But when I looked up, she had turned and fled.

I scampered up the same staircase Narcissa had gone down, the temperature rising slightly as we neared closer to the surface of the ground. I burst into the sixth years' dorm, Casey looking up from her book and smiling at me.

"Hi, Andi!" Erin Red, with her pug face and eyes glittering meanly, looked over from the closet. Well, she wasn't mean to _me _per se, but just about everyone else. She didn't have the backbone to be mean to either Narcissa, Bellatrix or I.

"Hello, Erin," I nodded coolly at her and she turned away. All of my dorm-mates and I had a strict, unspoken relationship. Do not try to seek friendship with me because I cannot deal with such interactions with more than one person at a time, and I will not unleash my inner Black upon you. And more importantly, my family will not catch wind of any _possible, _miniscule slight to me...and then your own family will be spared losing their job, their home, and being publicly scorned.

Some people would like a fool-proof system that did not allow a single person to so much as _look _at you wrong.

But did you know, if you were intelligent enough and looked at it a second time, you would see it for what it really was?

You would realize that it meant they were keeping tabs on your every move and not because they cared about you. It was so you would not do anything less than toeing the line, anything at all that could even put a tiny tarnish in the noble name of Black.

Anyway. Normally, Erin was not even in the room but rather with her boyfriend, Parkinson.

Allason Renaldi was the fourth roommate, a half-blood who pretended to be a pureblood. No other student knew but me, and I didn't know why I didn't tell the whole school. It was what Narcissa would have done, and definitely what Bellatrix would have done.

My hands were trembling slightly as I opened the letter.

I knew my parents didn't really _love _me, I had known it since I was ten, it was common knowledge and I didn't think twice about it. Our home was cold and devoid of loving hugs and kisses, empty of kind words and sacrifices made for family. My parents didn't love each other. It had been an arranged marriage. That, too, was what I'd grown up with and therefore, the only way I knew. It was the same for the only families I was allowed to socialize with, my family and certain pureblood families.

That had all been my norm, until I visited Casey's home. Her parents were both purebloods, yes instead of being forced into marriage by their parents for the sake of everyone but them, they had fallen in love after Hogwarts and gotten married, much to delight of both their families. And they loved Casey, their only child. They weren't completely lovey-dovey, but they didn't need to be. You could tell just in the way they spoke to one another that there was love.

I did love my sisters, though. We had a special bond. We were ornaments on our parents' marriage, a crucial element we all had in common.

I shook myself out of my thoughts and sat down primly on the edge of my bed, opening the letter.

_Andromeda-_

_Father and I are writing to alert you of recent going-ons between ourselves and the Lestrange family. We are forming an alliance of marriage between Bellatrix and Rodolphus, their eldest son. Bellatrix should be reading her letter with the news just as you are reading yours._

_Continuing along, we wish to unite yourself with Rabastian Lestrange. Wouldn't it be lovely, a double marriage? But a slight problem stands in our way-Rabastian is already promised to Callie Malfoy, Lucius's cousin. You played with her when you were girls; she is Narcissa's age. As you know, she is taught magic at home, for her health is delicate._

_You must do everything in your power to enchant him, to trick him into convincing his parents to change their minds about Callie. Show them that you are a healthy girl, more able to bear children than Callie. Entice him-but obviously, as you already surely know, do not do anything that would embarrass any of us. You do not possess the charms of beauty as your sisters, but you are cunning like a Slytherin should be. I know you will find a way._

_Do not disappoint us._

_Father and Mother_

Lovely. I folded up the paper, my exterior deadly calm. I shaking on the inside. I tucked it inside my robes and left the room, ignoring Erin and Casey as they called after me.

I paid no mind for the curfew, but made it down to the Quidditch pitch before I was caught. I felt something bursting and ready to explode within me, like some sort of angry monster.

I sprinted, full speed, down to the Slytherin pitch and threw open the doors viciously, breathing hard. I let out a moan, putting a hand over the stitch in my side.

I let my emotions show on my face for once, and it actually was a relief, like I had just shed a particularly uncomfortable dress for a fluffy robe.

_Lumos, _I thought in my head and my wand tip lit itself. Brooms were leaning against the walls, mine at the end. I strode forward, my face twisted into an ugly expression of the deepest anger, and grabbed the handle of the broom violently.

_"Stupid," _I muttered aloud to myself, pulling my cloak closer around my body. It was the beginning of October, and already cold. We were in for a frigid winter.

Basically, I had just been told by my parents that even though I wasn't beautiful, I had to weasel my way into stealing Rabastian's affections, so he would convince his parents to let him marry me instead of Callie.

I angrily mounted the broom, breathing hard and hands shaking. Out here, I didn't have to hold it all in. There was no one to see me freak out. Or _flip my lid, _as Ted had once called it. The ghost of a smile traced my lips as his face flashed through my head, and his voice murmured in my memory. I sighed, half-wishing that he would show up. But of course, that was a ridiculous notion to entertain. I refused to get my hopes up, and stuffed them down back into the soles of my feet like they were normally.

I let out a scream of anger as I lifted into the air.

"I hate this!" I screamed at my life in general as I rose to the very top of the pitch, far enough above the ground that Hogwarts was a collection of glittering lights in the corner of my vision. It was absolutely frigid, my hands and face were quickly going numb, but anger was a burst of warmth that was stronger than the biting air. I propelled forward, leaning down flat on my broom and rocketing away from the castle, ducking my head down so that it wasn't facing directly into the bitter air. I slowed down a bit so I could hang onto my broom by my hands.

It was complicated, but I swung myself downward and held on tightly, locking my fingers together. It was harder to control the broom this way-it was like steering in reverse, but the burst of danger-induced adrenaline made me forget the cold-and for a while, everything else.

**A\N Sorry this took so long, guys, I was on vacation and life got pretty busy after that! Happy early Valentine's day!**

**-R**


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